Clarify Your Values To Live More Intentionally
“A value is a way of being or believing that you hold most important.” – Brené Brown
Back in August 2022, I completed a values clarification exercise that has honestly changed my life for the better. I was growing tired of feeling like I had no control over my life schedule and wanted to take back ownership of my decisions in order to start living more intentionally. At the time, I was speaking to one of my closest friends, who mentioned he had been tasked with completing this exercise at work and kindly shared the details with me. We caught up a couple of days ago and I mentioned to him how I was planning on writing a blog post about how this process had improved my life, and given me a stronger sense of purpose and direction. I had no idea that he felt exactly the same way, and he went as far to say “that process really changed my life and I feel so much better prepared and confident to make big decisions now because I know whether it (the decision) fits into my values, principles and my long-term plan”. Therefore, I’d like to share the same exercise process with you with the hope that it allows you to clarify your values in order to start living a more intentional life.
Exercise 1: List Your Value Words
To start with, circle the words on the list that most resonate with you. Look for the words that you consider most important and essential to who you are. Be creative! Don’t feel limited by the sample list provided.
Below, I’ve listed the “value words” that resonated the most with me from the list. In my case, I added new words as and when it felt right. I also linked these words together where they shared similarities.
- Growth – Vision – Knowledge – Learning – Wisdom – Experiences
- Achievements – Fulfilment – Making a Difference
- Success – Time
- Adventure – Travel
- Accountability
- Authenticity – Honesty – Transparency – Understanding
- Balance
- Family – Friendship – Connection
- Fun – Humour – Laughter – Kindness – Joy – Love
- Creativity – Initiative
- Service – Giving Back – Generosity – Helping Other People
- Self Expression – Uniqueness
- Health – Wellbeing – Mental Health
Exercise 2: Consolidate Your value Words Into Values
Once you have listed all the words that resonate the most with you (+ any others) I want you to consolidate these into 5-7 value categories. Using my listed word above, I narrowed this down into the following values (in no particular order):
- Health & Wellbeing
- Personal Growth
- Relationships
- Service to Others
- Creative Freedom
- Authenticity
- Balance
Exercise 3: List What Behaviours Support These Values
Within your 5-7 value categories, I then want you to list what behaviours support these values. Think about your habits and consistent behaviours that bring you joy and fulfilment. You can list as little or as much as you please, so just go with it and see what you come up with. For me, I sat down in my quiet office space and came up with the below. Don’t worry if some of your behaviours overlap into other value categories, if anything this validates the importance of these behaviours for you.
Health & Wellbeing
- Wholefood diet
- Resistance training (2-4x per week)
- Minimising sugar intake
- Quality sleep
- Hydration
- Regular stretching
- 8,000 – 10,000 daily steps
- Mental stimulation / challenges
- Self imposed heat & cold therapy
- Constant learning
- Meaningful relationships
- Intimacy & love
- Early rising – sufficient “me time” during the day to recharge
- Proactive outlook on health
- Wellness monitoring & testing (check ups)
Growth
- Daily reading (20 mins per day minimum)
- Leaving comfort zone (work)
- Up-skilling regularly
- Learning from experts in their field
- Self reflection – personal SWOT
- Daily podcasts (30 mins minimum)
- Seeking feedback – having an open mind
- Actively learning about myself – self discovery
- Setting clear goals
- Helping others achieve their goals
- Seeking new challenges
- Meeting new people with similar values
- Learning about new cultures – languages
- Being curious & asking better questions
- Tracking progress – accountability
- Enjoying the process
- Adventure – travel – new experiences
Relationships
- Weekly family check ins
- Checkin in on best friends
- Visiting home to see my parents & dogs
- Developing meaningful relationships
- Making people laugh (or at least trying to)
- Expressing gratitude to loves ones
- Writing thank you cards (not going well atm)
- Listen, be attentive & sympathetic
- Constantly remind Juli (GF) that I love her
- Be generous with gifting to loved ones
- Help those close to me
- Be present & bring value to others lives
Service to Others
- Share my passion/learnings on health & wellness
- Help others through my passion
- Give time and energy to loved ones
- Look after myself to be able to help others
- Make a difference to peoples lives
- Know myself in order to serve effectively
- Be generous
- Cook for loved ones
- Be patient with loved ones
- Helping colleagues with help tips
- Think – “who am I serving today”
Freedom to Express Creative Ideas
- Opportunity to innovate at work
- Problem solving at work
- Owning projects / initiatives
- Bringing health & wellness learnings into my work
- Helping colleagues with health tips
- Time to read & exercise
- Work in places with a culture of sharing ideas / listening
Balance
- Flexible working hours
- Trust from management to manage my own time
- Time to workout & read
- Meaningful relationships at work
- Time to see loves ones
- Health insurance option at work
- Health focused company ethos
- Culture of understanding & empathy
Authenticity
- Surrounding myself with people sharing similar values
- Resonating with company vision/mission
- Working with likeminded people
- Being able to share my passion in a professional environment
Exercise 4: Who supports Your Efforts To Put Your Values Into Practice
Once you have listed your behaviours that support these values, I want you to think about the people that best support your efforts to put your values into practice. Start by reflecting on who supports your efforts at work (which takes up the largest chunk of our time during the week) and then think about family, people who support your hobbies/passions and those in your social circles who you spend the most time with. You may find it helpful to split people into categories (e.g., your manager, work colleagues, sport friends, social friends, family etc). Once you’ve done this, you can write a couple of sentences about how each person adds value to your life and supports you in your pursuit of living more intentionally.
The benefits of this practice are twofold. Firstly, as you write down how these people help you put your values into practice, you will start to feel more gratitude towards them, validating and deepening your relationship in the process. Secondly, you will shed light on any obvious gaps. For example, if one of your core values is Health & Wellbeing and none of your existing friends share a similar interest, or express support of your pursuits, then it’s probably time to expand your social circle and meet more likeminded people. This doesn’t mean you should drop all your oldest friendships (please don’t), but spending all your time with people that won’t further your aspirations is going to hold you back in the long-run.
Don’t get me wrong, this won’t always be easy and evolving values can lead to difficult decisions and conversations with close friends. Speaking from personal experience, I used to never turn down a pub social. At the time, I genuinely valued going out above anything else and saying “no” would never even occur to me. But as I’ve looked inwards and reflected on what I want to do with my life, my values have shifted and therefore I don’t spend as much time with all the same groups of people I did before. I have different goals that give me a reason to go to the gym on a Thursday rather than go to the pub every week. This doesn’t make me a “bad friend”, and any friend that says that doesn’t have your best interests at heart. At the end of the day, good friends should elevate your life, not hinder your progress.
Exercise 5: What Do These values Add To Your Life
Lastly, I want you to write down how these values add to your life. Below, I’ve shared some personal examples about how my values improve my life:
Health & Wellbeing
- Staying healthy allows me to pursue my goals without physical setbacks.
- Maintaining a healthy diet and exercise routine, gives me the energy and mental clarity to help others achieve their health/fitness goals.
- Working out 3-5x per week keeps my body strong and ready to perform at my best at my chosen sports (tennis and golf).
Growth
- Reading everyday expands my knowledge, gives me greater perspective and helps me think of new ideas for content creation.
- Setting new goals keeps me motivated and fulfilled.
- Visiting new places expands my horizons and new experiences help to shape my beliefs.
Relationships
- Experiences with my partner, family and friends bring me joy, laughter, happiness and fulfilment.
- My fondest memories are build around experiences with my loved ones.
- My relationship with my girlfriend has taught me the value of love, generosity, giving and kindness.
Service to Others
- Helping the people I care about makes me feel fulfilled and useful.
- Helping people improve their health and fitness gives me purpose and direction.
- My desire to help others inspires me to keep bettering myself in order to serve more effectively.
Freedom to Express Creative Ideas
- Gives me the time to write content on my blog.
- Gives me the opportunity to display my creative talents.
- Gives me the platform to make mistakes and learn from them.
Balance
- Keeps me sane and motivated.
- Allows me to live out my values whilst making a living.
Authenticity
- Gives me belief in myself and my work.
- Practicing what I preach removes self doubt.
Health Currency Challenges (HCCs)
To summarise, I’ll remind you of the five exercises you can complete to help you clarify your values and start to live a more intentional life:
- List your value words
- Consolidate your value words into values
- List what behaviours support these values
- Write down who supports your efforts to put your values into practice
- Write down what these values add to your life
