The Power Of Pre-Acceptance

My History of Fearing Failure

Throughout my life, I’ve grappled with a complex relationship with sport. On the one hand, I love the competitive nature and physical and social aspects sports offers. On the other hand, I’ve been haunted by an ever-present fear of failure since childhood. This fear has often been my own worst enemy, sapping my enjoyment of the game and negatively impacting my performance. When it comes to golf and tennis, my fear of producing unfavourable outcomes too often prevents me from swinging freely with confidence and commitment. Specifically for golf, there have been moments when I’ve left the golf course mentally drained after battling my inner demons for 18 holes. Reflecting in the club house after a tough round, I’m often left pondering whether I genuinely had fun. Throughout my life, I’ve let my scores and results dictate whether or not it was a good day out.

Fear of Failure Leads to Undesired Outcomes

In “Zen Golf” Dr Joe emphasises that the greatest interference to our golf swing is the fear of unwanted results. When we approach a shot with fear dictating our thought process, we lack commitment to a routine or plan which in turn causes interference with our swing process and yields inconsistent results. So the this fear of failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as we let it obscure our focus on a pre-established game plan. In order to eliminate the interference caused by fear, Dr Joe asserts we must be willing to embrace any outcome a shot may produce with the acceptance that we can handle whatever the future holds, irrespective of the result. We must be “100% optimistic and committed to the shot before taking it, and then be 100% realistic, forgiving and kind to ourselves about the results”.

The Power of Pre-Acceptance

Dr Joe advises that you must settle the issue in your mind that you are making a choice with pre-acceptance of the possible results, both good and bad. For example, when aiming for a pin near a deep bunker, you must be ready to accept the possibility of landing in the bunker as a risk worth taking for the chance of having a short putt for birdie. Without this pre-acceptance, your disappointment and frustration when the ball lands in the bunker will make matters worse, leading to a poor pattern of decision making that will unnecessarily cost you valuable shots. If you adopt the attitude that you can handle any outcome, this eliminates the fear of unwanted results, removes interference that jeopardises you making a free swing, and increases the probability that you will execute your plan and hit a good shot.

“Ask yourself how many shots you would have saved if you always developed a strategy before you hit, always played within your capabilities, never lost your temper, and never got down on yourself” – Jack Nicklaus. 

Applying Pre-Acceptance to Your Golf

After digesting Dr Joe’s wise words, I went on to play one of the most enjoyable (not best) rounds of golf I’ve experienced in a long time. Prior to each shot, I adhered to the following swing process:

1. Execute two practice swings behind the ball with your eyes closed, focusing on the tempo that I want to recreate with my final swing.
2. Form a clear mental image of the shot you want to hit, including the trajectory, landing spot and path towards the target.
3. Take a deep breath and refrain from moving towards the ball until you have exhaled completely. Upon exhaling completely, feel the tension subside in your body.
4. The end of your exhale marks full commitment to your plan and acceptance of the forthcoming outcome. At this point, your entire focus should be on the visual image of the shot you want to hit (as vivid as possible).
5. Approach the ball, moving at the same pace of your last deep breath, still fixated on your curated image of the ball’s trajectory towards a pre-established target.
6. Stand over the ball and get comfortable, allowing any thoughts and feelings of self doubt to drift by like passing clouds. Observe these thoughts as though a bystander without granting them power.

7. In a moment of stillness, make your swing with unwavering conviction, fully prepared to embrace the result, but also with the expectation of executing your plan.

At this point, maybe you’re thinking “wow he’s got it all figured out”. Well I can reassure you that I don’t and I proceeded to hit some absolute stinkers. This was my first time adopting this swing process, and admittedly I was unable to adopt all these practices with unwavering commitment to the shots. There were multiple moments when I still struggled to overcome doubts with interfered with my swing process. But for the most part, I was more present during the round and accepting of less-than-ideal outcomes. I was able to find comfort in having a clear plan regardless of whether I executed it. Although I didn’t shoot a particularly good round given my ability, I experienced far less frustration, didn’t lose my temper, and had way more fun. So for anyone wrestling with an ongoing fear of failure, I wholeheartedly recommend picking up this book and implementing the practice of pre-acceptance. You won’t look back, and importantly, you may find that this practice positively impacts your life beyond the golf course.